david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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