The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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