do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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