She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's just like the Real World with babies
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize