I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize