the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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