so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize