The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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