I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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