i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize