You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
