I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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