That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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