Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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