Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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