his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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