Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
