Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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