I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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