I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
