the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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