ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
