His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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