it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
