I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
