you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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