Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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