nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
