nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
