After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
