Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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