so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is Oprah even human
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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