I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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