i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize