rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
