Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize