I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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