how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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