I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
