Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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