You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
