You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
