just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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