Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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