you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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