i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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