Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
