Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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