I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
