Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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