I didn't shave. On purpose
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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