And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
