I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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