I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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