Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize