i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
