He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
