It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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