Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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