You're my little dorito
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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