butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
